Friday, January 27, 2012
It's official. I'm depressed.
Although it's a little bit odd or childish it may seem. Yes, I'm declaring the entirity of it now here in my blog simply because I have no one and nothing else to talk about it with.. or should I say, comfortable enough? I'm still blessed though. I have my dog sitting by my side as I write this emotional masterpiece at exactly 4:13 in the morning.
I never felt so alone..
The exact feeling I am feeling right now is.. no matter how many people claim or truly care about me, nobody could actually join me in this time of unhappiness. Time is passing so fast and every people I know has a life to attend to and I am too shy to ask for a second of it. Or perhaps, I am shy because I can't bear to take a moment out of that contentment they have right now. They deserve it. And I just can't bear to demand for a piece of it. From close friends, to siblings, to significant other.. I don't have the stomach to rattle the peace.
Looking on the brighter side, I wonder. Will this grief lead me to a better output of my work? Like those many famous artists? It would be a treat though.. But I wouldn't really want to die unhappy nor would I want to kill myself.
Time.. it has been fleeting. And I wonder where will myself lead me next. I don't know what I exactly want or need. Do I just need somebody who could join me? I can't even tell if I really wanted that. I'm too comfortable here.. within myself.
It's 4:36 AM, back to work..