Monday, September 26, 2011

I'm an artist and I don't have time for critics

Okay. That title is a little too bad-ass, should I say. I'm actually trying to help my way out between my personal fears and trauma. From the past few weeks, I have received offers from people which would help me and my works gain publicity. From joining a fashion awards down to just getting featured. I used to dream having to have these opportunities at hand but now I'm here, it's freaking me out. Sure, praises and compliments have been a candy to my ears but I have also been a victim of criticism and verbal abuse. I love my work too much just like how a mother would love her child. If somebody hurts her child, she gets hurt too. That's exactly how I feel about my work.

Now, I'm kind of afraid to show it to the world because I know not all would appreciate it as much as I do. And not all would be kind enough to choose the right words to help me grow. But I refuse to stuck myself within my fears. I refuse. That's why I'm writing this blog right now so I can always look unto it whenever I get afraid.

I just read a good article about 'how to handle criticism' and I got this quotation there. It's the perfect words for how I feel right now. I want to design clothes, therefore, I don't have time to read reviews. Come to think of it, I had my chance to get bashed here and there but I'm still here, breathing, making clothes. Sure, hurtful comments could paralyze me for a day or worse, a month, but I come to realize that my love for designing has always been greater and my love alone has erased my depression, frustrations, anger, and fears. Being rejected actually motivated me to do better than I can ever be. It may be hurtful but it works.

Reading the article taught me that yea, it's up to me if I would accept the gift of criticism. Plus, a critic would always depend on the critic's objective. If this person wants me to improve, s/he would pinpoint my weaknesses with the proper words so that I could work on it next time. But if this person simply dislikes me, his objective will be just to show his/her disapproval against you. It depends on the critic's motive, of course. How on earth wasn't I able to realize that. When I, being a human, feel the need to criticize at times and my need depends on my motive. Well, I am human. Just like I said.

As Eleanor Roosevelt says:
“Do what you feel in your heart to be right – for you’ll be criticized anyway. You’ll be damned if you do, and damned if you don’t.”

One of my bestfriends used to say that last sentence to me. And she's right. Damn if I do, damn if I don't. I know what I want and all of these, it's part of it. What I need now is the patience to stay in the game. :)